Life has an uncanny way of sneaking profound lessons into the simplest of experiences. Yesterday, I found myself at the heart of one such moment, reflecting on a crushing loss with my 11-year-old son’s tackle football team. This was his first year playing tackle football, and it was my first year coaching. Together, we navigated an incredible undefeated regular season, and dominated our first playoff game, only to experience a devastating upset. The pain hit hard—not just for the kids but for me as a coach and a parent.
Yet, through that heartbreak, I’ve found an opportunity for reflection, growth, and action—a reminder that even small moments like these can spark significant change.
4 years ago, headed for a platform in middle of the Gulf of Mexico…
In 2020, my life looked very different. I wasn’t able to be present for my family, let alone coach my son’s football team. I was stuck in the grind, working on an oil rig in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. During COVID, it was even tougher. I had to quarantine alone in a hotel for seven days before boarding a helicopter to head out to the rig for an indefinite stay—three or four weeks, depending on the job.
I’ll never forget the first time I had to go offshore. I had been working from home for a year, and my oldest son Kolt had gotten used to me being around since the days of rotating out of Northern Alberta, CA and West Texas. But on that day, I packed my bag, got in the car, and started the four-hour drive to Houma, Louisiana, where I’d stay before heading offshore. Saying goodbye to my family was always hard, but this time, it hit differently. After getting out at least 3 hours late due to trying to take care of so many things before leaving for up to a month,I finally got on the road and was listening to a development book on Audible as I often did to take my mind off having to leave. After a couple hours I called my wife to check in, and as she spoke, her voice breaking as she shared what I hadn’t seen: after I drove off, Kolt had chased my car down the street, not wanting me to leave. My wife had to run after him, literally chased a few blocks from the house. The thought of him running after me, of leaving my family like that, crushed me. I cried the rest of the way to Houma, (and still do writing this), heading into weeks of isolation and hard work, replaying that moment in my mind. That pain became a driving force—a spark that pushed me to change my life.
That experience was one of my major inflection moments, and drove me to create the life I now have, and is another story for another day how I used the pain to fuel my financial independence and to leave my W2 job at Shell.
Before I dive into the lesson of today, I wanted to share that story because it was the beginning of my journey to being present for my family and building a life that allowed me to show up for the moments that matter. Fast forward to today, and I’m reflecting on another painful moment—a heartbreaking loss with my 11-year-old’s football team. This time, though, I wasn’t driving away. I was right there with him, on the field, experiencing the highs and lows of the season together.
The loss felt immense. I’ve always believed that sports offer one of life’s greatest classrooms, teaching resilience, teamwork, and managing adversity. That evening, though, it felt like a painful reminder of how fleeting success can be. But as I replayed the game and its aftermath, I realized something: while our words may fade, people always remember how we make them feel. I could see this truth in the tearful faces of our players and their parents and the heartfelt appreciation for the season we’d shared. It was about more than football—it was about connection, growth, and shared purpose.
Finding the Lesson in Loss
This loss forced me to look inward. It sparked a series of questions: How can I show up better for my team, my family, and my community? How do I create a larger impact beyond just one season, one group of kids? Over the years coaching has given me a sense of fulfillment I hadn’t anticipated—a chance to teach, lead, and help others grow. It made me realize how much I enjoy inspiring and coaching others, and it pushed me to think about how I can magnify that impact.
The lesson here isn’t just about football. It’s about using moments of disappointment as inflection points to pivot toward what truly matters. Here are the key steps I’m taking to channel this pain into meaningful action:
1. Refocus on Impact
Reflecting on the impact I had on those kids and their families gave me clarity: I want to amplify that reach. Whether it’s through speaking engagements, mentoring, or building my business to free up more time for coaching and teaching, I’m committing to scaling the positive influence I’ve started.
2. Identify Time-Wasters
I realized I’m still spending too much energy on activities that don’t align with my ultimate goals. This realization has inspired me to double down on activities that drive results, not just for my business but for my personal mission.
3. Family First, Always
While I was present on the field with my son this season, due to time commitments and stress of not keeping up with everything I’m trying to do to grow and scale my business, I didn’t show up every day like I should have for my wife and four boys. This loss served as a powerful reminder to be consistently present for my family, not just physically but emotionally.
4. Use Adversity as a Catalyst
Adversity can either knock us down or push us forward. I’m choosing the latter. The heartbreak of this loss is fueling my drive to build something sustainable—a stable business that supports my family, frees me from unnecessary stress, and creates space to pursue my calling. What this looks like is making more business connections, raising more capital, and improving my team so they can run my business without me having to be driving day to day operations.
5. Anchor to Gratitude
As mentioned, looking back, I’m deeply thankful for the journey to have been on this year with our beloved Wyoming Cowboy JV tackle team. Four years ago, I was stuck on a drilling ship in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, missing games, and barely able to be part of my kids’ lives. Today, even amidst the heartbreak, I was there on the field, shoulder to shoulder with my son, and able to give him the biggest hug after he played his heart out and tell him how proud I was of him never giving up, despite all the adversity. That’s progress worth celebrating.
The most meaningful takeaway for me? Stories like this can inspire action. This season wasn’t just a chapter of wins and losses; it was a pivot point—a reminder of why I do what I do and where I need to focus moving forward. By 2025, I want to take my passion for coaching, mentorship, and connection to the next level. But for the remainder of this year, my focus is laser-sharp: perfecting my business and a life that supports the impact I want to have.
This experience has taught me that moments of disappointment aren’t just setbacks; they’re setups for comebacks. Whether it’s a football game or a missed opportunity in life, these moments can inspire action and clarity. They push us to define what truly matters and how we’re going to get there.
One of my favorite books, Capital Gaines, is written by someone who has alway inspired me, Chip Gaines. He two quotes I draw upon while writing this:
“A mistake here and there isn’t going to kill you, so don’t waste time worrying about that. It’s infinitely better to fail with courage than to sit idle with fear, because only one of these gives you the slightest chance to live abundantly. And if you do fail, then the worst-case scenario is that you’ll learn something from it. You’re for sure not going to learn jack squat from sitting still and playing it safe.”
“For people with a winner mentality, there’s a positive waiting for you no matter the outcome. For those with a loser mentality, if there’s a negative outcome anywhere along the way, you perceive that you’ve lost. That’s why I always say winning and losing isn’t an event; it’s a mind-set.”
So, here’s my challenge to you: What disappointment are you holding onto, and how can you use it as a catalyst for change? Take the pain, the lessons, and the energy from those moments and channel them into something meaningful. Build your version of the next season, and make it one to remember.
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